The Cost of Discipleship -

I read the book for Baloian's class back in college, and I highly recommend it. (He IS German, though, and the entire book is made up of VERY long sentences.) But it was a great reminder that the Grace we depend on did not come at a cheap price - and our response to God cannot be cheap, either.

This story of God's that I live in - it's a BIG story. It's a story that calls us to a higher purpose. A call that can only be understood when looking through an eternal lens. A story that includes the whole world, and every creature on it. A story of love and sacrifice. (I know it's no surprise to you who know me well that I'm a hopeless romantic, and a sweeping epic gets me every time!) I truly believe my heart longs for epic stories because that's exactly what Christ has called us to - an epic story.

I heard something this morning that broke my heart. I guess our missions committee at church has decided that trips to Mexico are out of the question because of safety concerns. This issue is close to my heart because I have been to Mexico many times, and I thoroughly believe in the purpose and calling of Mexico Outreach at APU. In fact, this summer, Dan and I will take Kate and head down to Ensenada to be the Camp Deans of Summer 1 Camp for Mexico Outreach. (Shameless plug: Are you an APU Alum? Wanna be on Team Barnabas with us?? Call me!)

Take Kate, you say? Are we crazy? Probably. But that's exactly the point. I think Jesus calls us to crazy. He does not call us to cozy. Or normal. Or safe. There's nothing safe about Jesus. I can't imagine the disciples felt safe when a mob ran them out of town because the crazy guy in the graveyard was acting normal. I can't imagine they felt safe when the church leaders were huddling in the corner trying to plan their demise. We know Peter didn't feel safe once Christ was arrested - he didn't even stick around. Paul's life? I could go on and on - have you read the end of Acts? Nothing safe about it.

"Is he safe?" "No, he's not safe. But he's good."

What caused Paul to sing praises while stuck in a prison? (That he got thrown into because it wasn't safe to preach the gospel in that area.) I'd like to think that Paul knew the risk was worth it. Something else I learned from that class in college - Faith IS Risk. Risking something means you have to have a whole lot of trust. If we don't obey Jesus because it's too risky, it means we don't trust Him to be in control. Do we trust that the Lord is in control in the midst of chaos?

(Insert something about Egypt today...)

Okay, I think I need to get off my soapbox now...this has so many implications. The point can be applied to so many facets of our lives, I could type for hours on the subject! But I am still brokenhearted that a bunch of very well-intended Christians sat around a table recently and decided that our people's safety was more important than the message of the gospel being proclaimed to another people group who are in great need. And for that, I am sad.

I am also very excited to go to Mexico in June. I feel so privileged for the opportunity! Dan and I can't wait to use our gifts in that setting, serving young people willing to take the risk of coming to Mexico for the Gospel! And if something, heaven forbid, were to happen to us on our 10 minute drive through the "unsafe" part of town, I will sing praises to my Savior Who will still be in control. Can I get an Amen?? :)

I'm really thankful for my new housecleaning product...

Let me preface this blog by saying that I think I am ridiculously blessed. When I talk about my struggles to keep the house clean, I know full well I am lucky to have a very nice house to keep clean. Sometimes I just can't believe how many in the world don't even have a third of what I have, and I feel kinda petty spending a whole blog talking about a house cleaning appliance. BUT it IS pretty cool, so I thought I would share it with you all...

A large portion of our house floor consists of white tiles. That show everything. And I mean everything. The dirty floor is also enhanced by our two pets. Our routine has been to clean the tile floor this way: Sweep. Vacuum up the leftovers. Swiffer the floor - using 3 swiffer pads per cleaning. Nurse a very sore lower back. Repeat every few weeks...because it hurts the back too much to do it more often than that.

AND THEN DAN BOUGHT THIS.

I used it for the first time today, and I do believe my floors will be much cleaner from now on!! It's SOOO cool! It vacuums and then steam cleans the floor! No chemicals, no replacement pads to buy all the time, a really tall handle, no need to scrub really hard, no need to wait for the floor to dry, and no sore back after!!

So you just fill the thing with water, and it steam cleans the floor through a pad that - get this - when you're done with, you just throw it in the washer! I thought the steam worked really well and loosened everything off the floor. If something didn't come off the first sweep over, I just held the steam over the spot for a few seconds, and poof - all gone! I could see the streak of steam on the floor as it cleaned - and it was super easy.

Dan said he paid too much for it, but we both decided you can't put a price on no back pain and a clean floor for a rug rat who is very, very close to crawling!

If you have a hard floor, or back problems, or a baby, or just want house cleaning to be easier - I would highly encourage the investment!

Happy cleaning!

I'm Thankful My Feet Hurt -

I really enjoy blogging - it's just finding the time, right? Come home from work, cook dinner, feed Katelyn, cook Katelyn more food for the next week, pack Katelyn for the next day of childcare, put Katelyn to bed, maybe get one thing around the house done, pack myself for tomorrow, then go to bed. Whew - I'm exhausted just typing all that out!

So tonight I'm choosing to blog instead of doing about 10 other things that I need to do.

About 2 months after I had Kate, I started to wake up to my hands and feet hurting in the morning. I had never felt this before, so I asked my mom about it. I knew my grandma has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and I knew my mom had started having symptoms in recent years, so I investigated it. Turns out my grandma's RA started right after she had her kids...and yay, it's hereditary.

Off to Google I go - and all my fears are confirmed. Things I didn't know about RA:

- It usually shows up between 30 and 50. I'm 31. Boo.
- Women get it about twice as much as men.
- Women often get flare-ups after childbirth (they think it has to do with the hormonal changes)
- There's no cure for it, you just maintain it.
- No one knows what causes it, but experts know it's a genetic thing and it has something to do with hormones.
- It's a disease of the immune system - basically, your immune system malfunctions, and attacks the cartilage and tendons in your joints, causing pain.
- It's a tough disease to have, because you look fine and have no outward symptoms. You just live with chronic pain and fatigue.
(Forgive me if all these facts aren't 100% accurate - this is what I remember from my studies yesterday)

Well, crap. This is no fun. I had the worst pain day to date yesterday, and I think it's because I spent most of the day before cleaning the house and running errands. It took everything out of me, and I paid yesterday, big time.

So the question becomes, what does this mean for my future? I'm hoping what I'm experiencing now is just a "flare up" from childbirth, and it will go away soon. I'm also hopeful that I can manage it with the right diet (which I have already been doing for several months, yay!), exercise, and acupuncture. No drugs for me, thanks!

Tonight my feet hurt pretty badly because I've been on them all night. But as I vent about how much this stinks, I'm still thankful. I'm thankful I have a beautiful daughter to care for. I'm thankful I can make her wholesome, homemade baby food that's good for her. I'm thankful I have a kitchen to cook a yummy dinner in. I'm thankful that tomorrow I have a great job to go to - where I can sit at a desk most of the day and rest my feet! And I'm thankful that I don't have to live with this broken body in a broken world forever - there is hope to come!

How will I move forward with this new issue? I don't know yet - only time will tell how much this will effect my life. I could use your prayers on the matter - it's a bit scary! But I will move forward every day clinging to the Rock who is my source of Strength and Hope all the time - not just when something new knocks me down. I will move forward trying to be thankful for and make the most use of this body He gave me to bring His Love to others!

And on that note...I suppose I should go get one more other thing done before I go to bed... :)

'Night, all!