Side Effects

This has been the most difficult round so far, very hard physically. I'm sitting here typing very carefully because of the pain in my fingernails. They are bruised and starting to lift off. My blood levels have dropped too low and I am being scheduled for a blood transfusion. The nurse is going to call the hospital this morning and try and schedule me for a match this morning and have it done tomorrow. I am very disappointed because the kids are coming to do Easter tomorrow but good that they will be here to help. It is a 4-6 hour process. I was told from the beginning this could happen but I guess the fact I only have one treatment left I thought I could get by without this. Well I guess the reality of not a perfect world in chemo is reality for me today :) I will re-post if the schedule changes.

Anne made it home from Russia and stopped by last night. Good to hear how the trip went and how God worked. She is still very tired and jet lagged but so good of her to stop by and fill our love tanks. Please continue to pray for my Mom. Her pain level has been so high this week.

I pray you have a wonderful celebration of our Risen Lord this week end. Enjoy being with family and friends as you serve Him. I think this year will hold a special meaning for me. As always thank you for your prayers, love and support during this journey.

Round Seven Side Effects

Well this round proved to be my hardest yet. I'm sitting here typing in pain because my fingernails are bruised and starting to lift off. I went yesterday to get my blood levels checked and they have dropped too low. I'm having trouble breathing and my heart starts racing if I do anything active. So I am being scheduled for a blood transfusion. I was told from the beginning that this could happen. I guess I was hoping since I only have one more treatment left that I would get through without it. It takes 4-6 hours and will be done as an outpatient at Menifee Hospital. The plan is to go this morning to get blood typed they will order the blood and schedule for tomorrow. The nurse is suppose to call first thing this morning to confirm the schedule. The kids are suppose to come and do Easter tomorrow so I'm disappointed this is interfering but also good that they will be here to help me too. Anne made it home from Russia and stopped by for a visit last night. Good to see and hear how God worked but she is still very jet lagged and tired. I will re-post if the schedule ends up different.

I pray you all have a wonderful celebration of our Lord and Savior with your family and friends this week end. I think this will be a very meaningful time for me this year. God Bless you and as always, thank you for your prayers, love and support during this journey.

The Cost of Discipleship -

I read the book for Baloian's class back in college, and I highly recommend it. (He IS German, though, and the entire book is made up of VERY long sentences.) But it was a great reminder that the Grace we depend on did not come at a cheap price - and our response to God cannot be cheap, either.

This story of God's that I live in - it's a BIG story. It's a story that calls us to a higher purpose. A call that can only be understood when looking through an eternal lens. A story that includes the whole world, and every creature on it. A story of love and sacrifice. (I know it's no surprise to you who know me well that I'm a hopeless romantic, and a sweeping epic gets me every time!) I truly believe my heart longs for epic stories because that's exactly what Christ has called us to - an epic story.

I heard something this morning that broke my heart. I guess our missions committee at church has decided that trips to Mexico are out of the question because of safety concerns. This issue is close to my heart because I have been to Mexico many times, and I thoroughly believe in the purpose and calling of Mexico Outreach at APU. In fact, this summer, Dan and I will take Kate and head down to Ensenada to be the Camp Deans of Summer 1 Camp for Mexico Outreach. (Shameless plug: Are you an APU Alum? Wanna be on Team Barnabas with us?? Call me!)

Take Kate, you say? Are we crazy? Probably. But that's exactly the point. I think Jesus calls us to crazy. He does not call us to cozy. Or normal. Or safe. There's nothing safe about Jesus. I can't imagine the disciples felt safe when a mob ran them out of town because the crazy guy in the graveyard was acting normal. I can't imagine they felt safe when the church leaders were huddling in the corner trying to plan their demise. We know Peter didn't feel safe once Christ was arrested - he didn't even stick around. Paul's life? I could go on and on - have you read the end of Acts? Nothing safe about it.

"Is he safe?" "No, he's not safe. But he's good."

What caused Paul to sing praises while stuck in a prison? (That he got thrown into because it wasn't safe to preach the gospel in that area.) I'd like to think that Paul knew the risk was worth it. Something else I learned from that class in college - Faith IS Risk. Risking something means you have to have a whole lot of trust. If we don't obey Jesus because it's too risky, it means we don't trust Him to be in control. Do we trust that the Lord is in control in the midst of chaos?

(Insert something about Egypt today...)

Okay, I think I need to get off my soapbox now...this has so many implications. The point can be applied to so many facets of our lives, I could type for hours on the subject! But I am still brokenhearted that a bunch of very well-intended Christians sat around a table recently and decided that our people's safety was more important than the message of the gospel being proclaimed to another people group who are in great need. And for that, I am sad.

I am also very excited to go to Mexico in June. I feel so privileged for the opportunity! Dan and I can't wait to use our gifts in that setting, serving young people willing to take the risk of coming to Mexico for the Gospel! And if something, heaven forbid, were to happen to us on our 10 minute drive through the "unsafe" part of town, I will sing praises to my Savior Who will still be in control. Can I get an Amen?? :)

I'm really thankful for my new housecleaning product...

Let me preface this blog by saying that I think I am ridiculously blessed. When I talk about my struggles to keep the house clean, I know full well I am lucky to have a very nice house to keep clean. Sometimes I just can't believe how many in the world don't even have a third of what I have, and I feel kinda petty spending a whole blog talking about a house cleaning appliance. BUT it IS pretty cool, so I thought I would share it with you all...

A large portion of our house floor consists of white tiles. That show everything. And I mean everything. The dirty floor is also enhanced by our two pets. Our routine has been to clean the tile floor this way: Sweep. Vacuum up the leftovers. Swiffer the floor - using 3 swiffer pads per cleaning. Nurse a very sore lower back. Repeat every few weeks...because it hurts the back too much to do it more often than that.

AND THEN DAN BOUGHT THIS.

I used it for the first time today, and I do believe my floors will be much cleaner from now on!! It's SOOO cool! It vacuums and then steam cleans the floor! No chemicals, no replacement pads to buy all the time, a really tall handle, no need to scrub really hard, no need to wait for the floor to dry, and no sore back after!!

So you just fill the thing with water, and it steam cleans the floor through a pad that - get this - when you're done with, you just throw it in the washer! I thought the steam worked really well and loosened everything off the floor. If something didn't come off the first sweep over, I just held the steam over the spot for a few seconds, and poof - all gone! I could see the streak of steam on the floor as it cleaned - and it was super easy.

Dan said he paid too much for it, but we both decided you can't put a price on no back pain and a clean floor for a rug rat who is very, very close to crawling!

If you have a hard floor, or back problems, or a baby, or just want house cleaning to be easier - I would highly encourage the investment!

Happy cleaning!

I'm Thankful My Feet Hurt -

I really enjoy blogging - it's just finding the time, right? Come home from work, cook dinner, feed Katelyn, cook Katelyn more food for the next week, pack Katelyn for the next day of childcare, put Katelyn to bed, maybe get one thing around the house done, pack myself for tomorrow, then go to bed. Whew - I'm exhausted just typing all that out!

So tonight I'm choosing to blog instead of doing about 10 other things that I need to do.

About 2 months after I had Kate, I started to wake up to my hands and feet hurting in the morning. I had never felt this before, so I asked my mom about it. I knew my grandma has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and I knew my mom had started having symptoms in recent years, so I investigated it. Turns out my grandma's RA started right after she had her kids...and yay, it's hereditary.

Off to Google I go - and all my fears are confirmed. Things I didn't know about RA:

- It usually shows up between 30 and 50. I'm 31. Boo.
- Women get it about twice as much as men.
- Women often get flare-ups after childbirth (they think it has to do with the hormonal changes)
- There's no cure for it, you just maintain it.
- No one knows what causes it, but experts know it's a genetic thing and it has something to do with hormones.
- It's a disease of the immune system - basically, your immune system malfunctions, and attacks the cartilage and tendons in your joints, causing pain.
- It's a tough disease to have, because you look fine and have no outward symptoms. You just live with chronic pain and fatigue.
(Forgive me if all these facts aren't 100% accurate - this is what I remember from my studies yesterday)

Well, crap. This is no fun. I had the worst pain day to date yesterday, and I think it's because I spent most of the day before cleaning the house and running errands. It took everything out of me, and I paid yesterday, big time.

So the question becomes, what does this mean for my future? I'm hoping what I'm experiencing now is just a "flare up" from childbirth, and it will go away soon. I'm also hopeful that I can manage it with the right diet (which I have already been doing for several months, yay!), exercise, and acupuncture. No drugs for me, thanks!

Tonight my feet hurt pretty badly because I've been on them all night. But as I vent about how much this stinks, I'm still thankful. I'm thankful I have a beautiful daughter to care for. I'm thankful I can make her wholesome, homemade baby food that's good for her. I'm thankful I have a kitchen to cook a yummy dinner in. I'm thankful that tomorrow I have a great job to go to - where I can sit at a desk most of the day and rest my feet! And I'm thankful that I don't have to live with this broken body in a broken world forever - there is hope to come!

How will I move forward with this new issue? I don't know yet - only time will tell how much this will effect my life. I could use your prayers on the matter - it's a bit scary! But I will move forward every day clinging to the Rock who is my source of Strength and Hope all the time - not just when something new knocks me down. I will move forward trying to be thankful for and make the most use of this body He gave me to bring His Love to others!

And on that note...I suppose I should go get one more other thing done before I go to bed... :)

'Night, all!

Today, the topic of discussion is something that is quite odd and out of the ordinary. It's also being discussed because so many of you have asked me about it...

Why in the WORLD are you using cloth diapers?

I know, I know, I just lost some of you. But I find this topic quite interesting and educating. So even if you're done having kids, or not even close to having them in the first place, read on and learn something new today!



So, WHY ARE WE USING CLOTH DIAPERS?

1. They are saving us a lot of money.

Do the math: 1 year of disposable diapers=$750-$1,000. A kid in diapers 'till they're 2 - 3 years old = $2,000 - $3,000. 2 kids in diapers = $4,000 - $6,000 total. How much did I invest in cloth diapers that I can use through the duration of 2 kids or more? $350. Saving money - I like it!

2. Better for the environment. MUCH better.

3. Better for baby's bum. No harsh chemicals touching her skin. Yes, they put chlorine in brand-name diapers...eww!!



The NEW CLOTH DIAPER:

Gone are the days of those huge safety pins and stinky plastic panties! Look at how cool these new All-In-Ones (AIO's) are? We use 2 kinds of cloth diapers - All-In-Ones and inserts with covers. Here's what's cool about them:

1. All-In-Ones (AIO's): These look and act just like throw-away diapers, but they're cloth! We chose to buy the kind where you can take out the insert, because they dry much faster that way, and you can add more inserts if needed. They come with one regular insert, and one newborn insert. We use the same inserts with our AIO's as well as our covers. Easy and simple. However, you can buy the kind where the insert is sewn into the diaper. AIO's are great for when you're out and about, and also for the babysitter. :)

2. Inserts & Covers: The inserts are made of micro-fiber, and I was shocked to discover how absorbent these things are! (without any chemicals, thank you very much!) They dry very quickly in the dryer, and if they get stained, you can dry them in the sun and the sun will remove any stains left. (it's quite the magic trick!) The covers are great, because if there's no poopies, you can just change the insert and reuse the cover over and over. The covers also dry quickly.

3. They now sell these all in One-Size-Fits-All!! (OSFA) The inserts have a snap where you can fold it over and snap it to make the length smaller or bigger, and both the AIO's and the Covers come with snaps all over them so you can adjust not only the width, but the length of them as well! This is fantastic news, because now you only have to buy one size. (You used to have to buy at least 3 sizes with the ones that just had velcro on them.) Again, saving money! This also means I only have one stash that I can use through all stages, with as many kids as we decide to have. Easy Peasy!!



MY CLOTH DIAPERS:

So we spent $350 up front. Here's what we bought:

1. 24 micro-fiber cloth inserts (BumGenius): http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=230

2. 6 Covers, OSFA (Flip): http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=139&products_id=2157

3. 12 AOI's, OSFA, which each came with a newborn insert and a regular insert (BumGenius): http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=98&products_id=2428



BUT WHAT ABOUT THE POOPS, KRISTI? EW, GROSS!!

I turn the AIO or insert inside out, and swish the middle, soiled part in the toilet, then flush. With the micro-fiber inserts, it separates surprisingly easy, and you don't have to get it ALL out, just the majority of it. This part can really gross people out, but you just get 'er done. After living with what it really means to be a mother (you know, childbirth, breastfeeding, having spit-up in your hair on a regular basis...), dealing with a poopy diaper for 30 more seconds really isn't a big deal!! If the thought of this really does gross you out, they do have fancy little sprayers you can attach to your toilet that help spray the stuff off the diaper and into the toilet. We don't have one, but Dan is considering one! :)



WASHING:

I do diaper laundry about 2 times a week. They are pretty small loads, but on a side note, this has helped me become much more consistent with the rest of the laundry too! (I always dry the inserts with other clothes, so I'm using less energy.) Here's how to wash:

1. Pre-rinse in COLD water.

2. Wash in HOT water with gentle detergent (no additives), using 1/2 the amount of detergent for one load.

3. Second rinse.

4. Put inserts in the dryer (no dryer sheets), and hang dry the AIO's and Covers.



STORING:

You store the dirty diapers in "Wet Bags". They're just cloth bags with a waterproof lining on the inside. As the name suggests, this keeps the diapers purposely "wet" 'till you're ready to do laundry. This keeps the diapers from staining and drying out. I keep a small one in the diaper bag for trips, and a large one in the nursery. Yes, I do have to empty the small one into the large one when I get home, but I have to repack her diaper bag everyday anyway, no big deal. Then when you're ready to do laundry, you just dump the diapers into the washer, and turn the Wet Bag inside out and throw it in with them!



CONCLUSION:

We have done it mostly to save money. It's a pretty big incentive when you do the math. But I must say, I have been pleasantly surprised at how easy it has been. When it's just part of your routine, it's really not a hassle at all! And I feel so much better knowing that nothing unnatural is sitting on my baby's skin day in and day out. Well, I hope you have learned something new today! Have more questions? Ask 'em! And if you know anyone that has a baby, or is going to have one, feel free to pass this info. on to them! Thanks for listening. Err...reading. :)

Catching Up -

I haven't blogged about the last 3 episodes of LOST, mostly because I just enjoy talking with people about it more than I enjoy typing out observations and theories. But alas, soon enough I'll have nothing to blog about but my kid. So I suppose I should blog about TV while it still has somewhat of a priority in my life! Ha!

AB ATERNO: Richard-centric
This episode rocked my socks. Nestor better get an emmy nomination out of this thing, he was amazing! Loved all of it. It was so stinkin' full of theology, I don't know where to begin. I guess there's really only one important observation: MIB believes we're all inheritantly flawed. Jacob believes we can just choose to do the right thing. I fully believe MIB is the bad guy, but he's the one with the correct Biblical worldview here...very interesting! I suppose they're BOTH correct and Biblically sound in their ideas, but of course Jacob's view is missing the Jesus factor.

THE PACKAGE: Sun and Jin
Good episode - glad we got a little bit more island time. I think the biggest reveal this episode was that there's now proof of a solid correlation between the Real Time Line and the Alternate Time Line (Sun's Korean-only speaking ability). This is very important. These ATL's continue to convince me that our characters "remember" the RTL, and that the ATL is the "wrong" timeline. It was/is never supposed to happen.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER: Desmond-centric
It has taken me several days to digest this episode. At first, I wasn't that impressed, but after some reflection, I have come to realize how much this episode actually revealed to us.
- First, the two time lines ARE directly related, because clearly now Desmond can travel between the two.
- Second, the ATL has now been shown, through Charlie, that it's definitely the wrong timeline. It's not REAL. It's not right. Charlie actually proves this to Desmond, and I think we can all agree that by the end of the episode, Desmond believes this too.
- Third, there were strong themes in this episode that love and relationships will be a deciding factor at the end of this show, probably proving something timeless like love conquers all...
- Fourth, and most important, Desmond will be really, really important in the end. He will either set off some electromagnetic event that will save the world because he's the only one who can, or he will change the course of the ATL through time travel because he's the only one who can, or he will kill Flocke because Flocke/Smokey is actually electromagnetic at his core, and therefore Desmond is the only one who CAN kill him.

Ready, set, discuss!!
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